Humaniac

Last week, a stranger attacked me. She threatened me with a fine for leaving my dog in our van for more than half an hour and was completely outraged that I had not left a window open. She told me I should never be allowed to own dogs.

I chose not to open a window that day due to the temperature and the wind. Other days, I open several windows and sometimes use a window fan.

I had never heard of such a law, so I went straight to the Humane Society to inquire. My attacker was wrong. There is no law about the length of time an animal can be left in a vehicle. A dog owner can be fined if a dog is found to be in distress.

Since my assault, I am afraid to take my dogs anywhere. It was horrible being attacked that way and now I am worried that some vigilante is going to break into my vehicle to “rescue” my dogs. Please comment.– Anonymous

Dear Horrible Person:

How unlucky for you.  This sort of person is often referred to as a humaniac. As is the case with many humans, a humaniac believes that animals should always be treated with kindness and respect. What sets a humaniac apart from a normal person is that they seem  to believe that no one loves your dog more than they do and they are free to abuse you and anyone else that stands in way of their agenda.

Your “in the wild” encounter with the Wild-Eyed, Flush-Faced Humaniac is not that unusual. They pop up now and then and harass anyone or anything that as I say doesn’t love animals as much as they do. They congregate in groups but rarely get along. Their organizations splinter off into various militant sects. They seemed particularly prone to throwing paint at women wearing animal skins. Scientists were puzzled, as the paint-throwing compulsion seemed to not be triggered by the more accessible leather-wearing bikers.

The humaniac, I think is just a byproduct of a culture that has far too much time on its hands. Others though I think may have been victims of abuse themselves and due that horror at some point disconnected from their humanity and reinvested their need for emotional attachment into animals. Some may have been so deeply damaged that they lost their rationality.  Ironically the humaniac has done and do far more harm than I have seen good come from them. Their bizarre behavior marginalizes the voices of people and organizations that play a legitimate role in defense of animals truly abused and neglected.

Don’t let your humaniac encounter keep you from taking your dog with you. I have always taken my dogs with me whenever possible. I use common sense too. Meaning if it is too hot or too cold, I leave them at home.

Let me conclude by stating the obvious. In the event that a person does come across an animal in true distress, call the authorities. If this is not possible or timely enough, then do what you have to do and what you are prepared to defend doing.

–John Wade