Dear John,
My Pitbull mix, Princess is 8 years old. I purchased her at 6 months of age. She never wants to come in my room and hang with me but when my boyfriend visits she never wants to leave.. why is this so? I’ll ask her to come in my room or sit on my bed but she never wants to. Whenever I FaceTime my boyfriend she leaves the room. But when he comes over she insists on being with us and will bark and cry if she doesn’t.
Diane (New York, New York)
Hi Dianne,
I think considering the age your lives merged, there’s also some potential for Princesse’s critical imprint period ( 3- 12 weeks of age) influencing her preferences. If she spent more positive time with adult males during this period she’ll always gravitate in that direction. Early imprinting has a lot to say on how a dog turns out in the long run.
However, another potential influencer is that people often don’t develop the bond potential in their dogs due to the way they train and live with their dogs. No fault of their own. More so, due to the nonsense companion dog owners are encouraged to believe is ‘science’-based dog training.
As a result, most dogs subjected to the ideology of ‘All Positive/Purely Positive/Force-Free/Never Say No/R+…’, treat, treat, treat or ‘Might Is Right’, Alpha, Pack Leader, Dominant (Yank and Crank) end up with their behavior more influenced by hormones, evolutionary programs, breed ‘programs’, and the strengths and weaknesses of their specific bloodlines. As a result, their owners usually default to being thought of as roommates that can be, depending on the dog put in a take it or leave it context.
Hard to say as to the extent, but I’m confident you can improve your relationship with her without undermining the relationship she has with your boyfriend. It will require learning how she sees the world, learns who is a teacher and who is a student. That doesn’t mean bribery (treats) as that’s more a heroin dealer/heroin addict sort of relationship. (Nor does it mean, ‘Might Is Right’, Alpha, Pack Leader, Dominant (Yank and Crank))
Let me know if you want me to send you some information on my long-distance video exchange training consultations/programs.
– John Wade 🐾 (www.askthedogguy.com)
